Hurley's Fatness

Hurley's weight has fluctuated over the years. Here's how I break it down on a system of 1 to 10, 1 being fat, 5 being Mongo, and 10 being Jumbotron.

Season 1 - He's pretty fat. Not outrageously so, but your wouldn't think he'd be crossing any old, tattered rope bridges. But he does, so that earns him a 4.

Season 2 - He's not turning any heads, but he dropped a few belt sizes. And Libby cute enough that she isn't going after the fattest of the fat. All that running on the beach gets him a 2.

Season 3 - Hurley really starts ballooning. Both Charlie and Sawyer decline his help on critical missions. We don't see him eating any peanut butter off leaves or chugging ranch dressing like a hungover college kid drinking water, but I suspect he's doing both. That earns him a 7.

Season 4 - All the time in New Otherton gave him plenty of opportunities to graze on Apollo bars. Also, he doesn't have to trek through the jungle nearly as much. It shows. 8.

Season 5 - It might be his unfortunate wardrobe, but Hurley never looks fatter than he does in this season. That Dharma jumpsuit just doesn't look as good on him as it does, say Roger Workman. And four last words: I Heart My Shih-Tzu. 10.